Feast Your Eyes on This

In an epic collaboration between two web giants, Captain's Blog and the Daily Hat have joined forces to bring you "Double Down or Bust". 

The "sandwich" is damn tasty indeed. But be warned, it is deadly. I would go so far as to say that the Double Down is not fit for weekdays, or anytime where any sort of prolonged productivity will be required after consumption. 

After exhaustive (mostly from the food coma) debate at the Captain's Blog headquarters, we have concluded that the Double Down does indeed belong amongst the Top 5 Fast-Food Chicken Sandwiches of all Time . It's final ranking can only be concluded from repeat performances, but for the time being we have decided that is has bumped the Arby's Chicken, Bacon & Swiss off the list. But don't get cocky Colonel, you still have a lot of room for improvement in the customer service and proper side item temperature control departments.

Thanks again to the Daily Hat, and keep your peepers peeled for future collaborations. 

BREAKING NEWS

The infamous KFC "sandwich" The Double Down is being rolled out across the nation on April 12th. Shrouded in secrecy and formerly available only in select test markets, the Double Down consist of two fried-chicken filets serving as the buns to the bacon, cheese, and special sauce inner medley. 

Now the question on everyone's mind is obviously this: where, if at all, will the Double Down fall on the sacred and authoritative Captain's Blog "Top 5 Fast-Food Chicken Sandwiches of All Time" list? (review here) 

First of all, let me say that I am sick and tired of all the free merchandise that KFC has been sending to try to gain our favor. You can't fling a dead chicken in the Captain's Blog headquarters without hitting some KFC swag. The potato-wedge shaped fanny pack, Colonel Saunders' weeble-wobble, and giant biscuit bean-bag chair can't buy you a spot on the Top 5. But I like your style. 

Barring full cardiac arrest, massive food coma, or epic mud butt; expect a full report come April 13th.

Short Fiction courtesy the Captain's Blog Prose Department

"Rattlesnake Pete" the Repentant Lumberjack

Rattlesnake Pete was once the most fearsome and notorious axe-man to stalk the planet. But then one day he suffered a near death experience after a giant Douglas Fir he had just felled crashed upon him. It was only then that he truly felt the power of nature's majesty, and realized he had to dedicate his life to protecting the planet. Racked with guilt for his years of tree-slaughtering, Rattlesnake Pete shaved his beard in an ultimate act of retribution. He then promptly donated it to Locks of Love. Now his voracious appetite for pancakes is matched only by his hunger for justice.

As you can imagine, the lumberjack world is not any easy place for an eco-warrior. Unable to reach out to his lumber-brethren for advice, and cut off from much of civilization, the Planet Green television network serves as an important lifeline to the green movement for Rattlesnake Pete. 

Buoyed by the knowledge he has received from Planet Green, Pete now plans to invite his old work buddies "Hambone" Smith, "Cruel Face" Johnson, and "Tin Can" Charlie over for a nice organic luncheon of Strawberry Bruschetta with Targon Syrup and Pickled Kale Stems with Garlic Scapes.